I've had many people asking to hear my birth story, but I really feel like this story needs to be shared first.
We had our firstborn son, James Allen, in October of 2014. I had no trouble conceiving him, and the pregnancy went pretty well, so we were very excited to have another baby whenever the time came!
In May of 2015, I had a positive pregnancy test. This was it! I was so excited. But just a few days later, I started miscarrying. I was so sad, but I knew it was very common, and had tried to prepare myself for the possibility. I hadn't even told Micah yet, so no one else found out right then.
In August, I was in that possibly-pregnant-but-too-early-to-know window, when I started having extreme pain and cramping, to the point that my husband took me to the ER. They ran several tests, and found no HCG (pregnancy hormone) in the urine, but the blood test came back positive a few days later. Finding nothing right then, they sent me home with the hopes that I was just experiencing implantation cramping a little harder than most people. We got the blood test results saying I was pregnant, and I felt fine for a few days. I made a shirt that said "Big Brother" for James, and we took him over to my in-laws wearing it. We were so excited! About a week later though, I started miscarrying again. This time, since I had been in the hospital, we had told close friends and family, and when we told them about the miscarriage, we did say that it was my second. We were so heartbroken. Friends and family offered so much love and advice, some helpful and some not so much. But we appreciated everyone's love and caring and the intentions behind their words.
After having had two miscarriages, I was somewhat afraid to take another pregnancy test and get my hopes up, so I waited awhile, and finally took a test that confirmed my suspicions toward the end of October. We told a few very close friends and immediate family right away, so they could be praying. But a few weeks later, I miscarried again. I can't even tell you how shattered I was. I didn't understand! So many of my friends were having wonderfully healthy "accidental" pregnancies that they didn't even want or plan. I was so done with the emotional roller coaster, I just wanted a break. I didn't want to see babies or think about babies.
Thanksgiving rolled around, and I went upstairs to put the toddler down for a nap at my in-laws, and I woke up on the floor about an hour later. I had passed out! Then the next day, I was doing something—folding laundry maybe? My memory is fuzzy here—and passed out again! I just fainted dead away a few times a day for a couple days. I called my OBGYN, and they were worried that perhaps I was having complications from my last miscarriage, so they had me come in for blood work. Everything came back normal, with NO HCG. so when the passing out continued, they told me to go in to the ER to have things checked out. They did a CAT scan, MRI, X-rays, echocardiogram, electrocardiogram, electroencephalogram, tons of blood work, and everything came back normal. They sent me home Saturday night December 5th, with strict instructions, "not to drink any alcohol tomorrow even though it's your twenty-first birthday!"
Monday morning rolled around, and I had an odd feeling I should take a pregnancy test. Don't ask me why! But I did, and it was positive. What?!? I already had an appointment set with my OBGYN for that morning to discuss the miscarriages and options for testing to see what may be causing them. He was surprised to hear I'd had a positive test, but they did another test there, and it was positive! He ordered lots of blood work, and they took ten large vials of blood (could barely get that much!) hoping we would find something to clue us in on why I kept miscarrying.
He told me to rest, take a baby aspirin every day, and stay plenty hydrated.
Sure enough, four weeks later, we had an ultrasound that confirmed a living, moving baby. We were SO relieved, and yet so, so worried. I couldn't bring myself to get excited yet. What if we lost this one, too? I wasn't sure I could handle it.
We told everyone we knew that we were expecting, and close friends and family were praying HARD that this baby would make it.
I'm so happy to say, though it was a long and difficult pregnancy, she is now eight and a half days old, and couldn't possibly be any healthier.
Losing our three angel babies was definitely the very hardest thing I ever went through, but I'm able to see so much beauty now in God's hand through the very hard year, and I'm so thankful to have our little girl. If I seem even more weepy than most new mamas, now you know why. My heart is so very full of thankfulness for our sweet rainbow baby that I feared we would never have.
We love our sweet Gwendolyn Mae more than we can ever say!!!
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