It's hard to say exactly when my labor started. I had an abnormal amount of Braxton-hicks contractions starting around seven weeks pregnant.
When I was thirty-four weeks along, I fell down the stairs, and later that day, contractions started. And continued... And got more and more intense, and closer and closer together. Four minutes apart, 70-80 seconds long, and very intense. We thought for sure the baby was coming! But Lo and behold, the contractions started easing and slowing and the labor stopped.
We were so relieved! We didn't want to have to transfer to the hospital, have a NICU stay, etc.
But from then on out, I had contractions every day, and several times they progressed enough that we thought the baby was really coming!
Pretty much everyone was surprised when my due date came and I still had not had the baby yet!
Little did I know going to bed that night that I would only be sleeping a couple of hours!
Right about 2 am, I woke up, feeling like maybe my water had just broken. I waited a couple minutes, then woke my husband up. I said, "Micah, I think I need help getting up. I need to go to the bathroom."
When he got me to a sitting up position, I felt another gush. "Um, I think my water just broke," I told him.
"What?!? Are you sure?" (I had THOUGHT it had twice before.)
"Um. Yeah I'm pretty sure!" I said.
I finally made it to the bathroom, and sure enough, not only had my water broken, but it was dark green from meconium. There wasn't a shadow of a doubt in my mind! I told Micah to call the midwife right away. He helped me to our big glider rocker I had set in our room for nursing the baby, and that's when contractions hit. Strong, powerful, and LONG.
Micah called the midwife, and sent her pictures of the meconium water, and she sprung into action—she lives over two hours away!
My mama, thankfully, was already awake, so Micah got her and told her what was going on.
She went to work filling up the birth pool so Micah could stay and coach me.
My midwife, Felicia, said to use our fetal Doppler to check the baby's heartrate every thirty minutes, so we did that. It stayed right in the same range it had been most of the pregnancy.
I had lost all track of time by now. I really have no idea what time it was when I got in the birth pool. It offered a small amount of relief, mostly because I could move freely without putting weight on my hips or stomach.
It wasn't long before I started feeling the urge to push. "Where is Felicia?" I asked. Micah kept saying, "She'll be here soon."
It got to the point I couldn't stop myself from pushing. Oh, it hurt! But I could feel her moving down. I was getting more and more determined.
After nearly an hour of pushing though, I felt so tired. So done. I just couldn't go on. I told Micah, "I can't do this. I'm not strong enough. I'm too tired."
He just kept holding my hand (even when I squeezed really, REALLY hard!) and told me over and over, "you can do this. You are strong. We get to hold our baby soon."
After a bit, I felt like I needed to move some. I got out of the water, and went to our bed. The contractions were so hard I was just biting a rag as hard as I could to keep from screaming. Even at this point, I was thinking about my sleeping toddler and didn't want to wake him! Just when I thought I really couldn't take it anymore, Felicia and Lynn (my doula) arrived.
Lynn went right to work massaging my back and hips to help bring the baby down.
Pretty quickly I wanted to get back in the water.
I had renewed determination. I was ready to get this baby OUT!
I pushed through several contractions, and the baby's head was crowning.
Felicia said I could reach down and feel her head!
I did, and it was so very exciting. I was feeling so much pressure and intensity, but I was so excited to know she was really just about to come out! I took a big deep breath, I grabbed the backs of my thighs instead of the handles of the pool, and I pulled on my legs and pushed HARD. Her whole head popped out! I felt instant relief of so much of the pressure, but I was rather confused as to what to do for a split second—but before Felicia was even done saying I could keep pushing, my body was already doing it! The rest of her shot right out of me so fast I could barely process it. Micah caught her and pulled her up out of the water, and before he even set her on my chest, she was crying! The time was exactly 7:23 am.
I was a bit in shock, not completely believing it was done. She was here!
Micah announced her name, and mama and the midwives all loved it. She was perfectly calm on my chest, but we heard crying from another room! Big brother had woken up.
Mama went to get him, and he came in all sleepy-eyed, and looked around the room, and his eyes settled on Gwendolyn, and he said "Sister!" He has loved her from that second on!
After a few minutes, Felicia told me she thought the placenta was about ready to come, so I concentrated and pushed that out too. (Much less intense than pushing the baby out!)
Micah took the baby for just a minute while Felicia helped me to bed. It was starting to sink in finally that this baby was here! I did it! I was finished! I was so,
so relieved.
Micah called his mom, and told her she could come meet her granddaughter.
He started sending texts to all of our siblings, and a few very close friends.
I nursed the baby, and just held and cuddled her. I was so happy to be sharing those first moments of her life with her! I didn't get to experience that with my first, as he was born via c-section, and I had some issues afterward.
Felicia and Lynn cleaned everything up, emptied and cleaned and deflated the birth pool, and came to examine the baby and make sure everything looked good.
She did have a tongue tie and lip tie that we will hopefully be getting revised soon, but other than that she was a picture of health. No webbed fingers or toes, which was an answer to prayer!!!
My recovery has been a bit difficult in some ways, but not nearly as bad as it could be!
I had one small tear that stings some, but it's not bad at all as far as tears go.
Physical AND emotional recovery has been so, SO much better than with my c-section.
I'm excited to see what the next few weeks bring and how much more healed I will be!
I'm so glad that I tried for a home VBAC, and even more glad and thankful that God was with us through all of it and blessed me with such a quick labor and a healthy baby!!!
Thursday, August 25, 2016
Angel Babies and a Rainbow Baby
I've had many people asking to hear my birth story, but I really feel like this story needs to be shared first.
We had our firstborn son, James Allen, in October of 2014. I had no trouble conceiving him, and the pregnancy went pretty well, so we were very excited to have another baby whenever the time came!
In May of 2015, I had a positive pregnancy test. This was it! I was so excited. But just a few days later, I started miscarrying. I was so sad, but I knew it was very common, and had tried to prepare myself for the possibility. I hadn't even told Micah yet, so no one else found out right then.
In August, I was in that possibly-pregnant-but-too-early-to-know window, when I started having extreme pain and cramping, to the point that my husband took me to the ER. They ran several tests, and found no HCG (pregnancy hormone) in the urine, but the blood test came back positive a few days later. Finding nothing right then, they sent me home with the hopes that I was just experiencing implantation cramping a little harder than most people. We got the blood test results saying I was pregnant, and I felt fine for a few days. I made a shirt that said "Big Brother" for James, and we took him over to my in-laws wearing it. We were so excited! About a week later though, I started miscarrying again. This time, since I had been in the hospital, we had told close friends and family, and when we told them about the miscarriage, we did say that it was my second. We were so heartbroken. Friends and family offered so much love and advice, some helpful and some not so much. But we appreciated everyone's love and caring and the intentions behind their words.
After having had two miscarriages, I was somewhat afraid to take another pregnancy test and get my hopes up, so I waited awhile, and finally took a test that confirmed my suspicions toward the end of October. We told a few very close friends and immediate family right away, so they could be praying. But a few weeks later, I miscarried again. I can't even tell you how shattered I was. I didn't understand! So many of my friends were having wonderfully healthy "accidental" pregnancies that they didn't even want or plan. I was so done with the emotional roller coaster, I just wanted a break. I didn't want to see babies or think about babies.
Thanksgiving rolled around, and I went upstairs to put the toddler down for a nap at my in-laws, and I woke up on the floor about an hour later. I had passed out! Then the next day, I was doing something—folding laundry maybe? My memory is fuzzy here—and passed out again! I just fainted dead away a few times a day for a couple days. I called my OBGYN, and they were worried that perhaps I was having complications from my last miscarriage, so they had me come in for blood work. Everything came back normal, with NO HCG. so when the passing out continued, they told me to go in to the ER to have things checked out. They did a CAT scan, MRI, X-rays, echocardiogram, electrocardiogram, electroencephalogram, tons of blood work, and everything came back normal. They sent me home Saturday night December 5th, with strict instructions, "not to drink any alcohol tomorrow even though it's your twenty-first birthday!"
Monday morning rolled around, and I had an odd feeling I should take a pregnancy test. Don't ask me why! But I did, and it was positive. What?!? I already had an appointment set with my OBGYN for that morning to discuss the miscarriages and options for testing to see what may be causing them. He was surprised to hear I'd had a positive test, but they did another test there, and it was positive! He ordered lots of blood work, and they took ten large vials of blood (could barely get that much!) hoping we would find something to clue us in on why I kept miscarrying.
He told me to rest, take a baby aspirin every day, and stay plenty hydrated.
Sure enough, four weeks later, we had an ultrasound that confirmed a living, moving baby. We were SO relieved, and yet so, so worried. I couldn't bring myself to get excited yet. What if we lost this one, too? I wasn't sure I could handle it.
We told everyone we knew that we were expecting, and close friends and family were praying HARD that this baby would make it.
I'm so happy to say, though it was a long and difficult pregnancy, she is now eight and a half days old, and couldn't possibly be any healthier.
Losing our three angel babies was definitely the very hardest thing I ever went through, but I'm able to see so much beauty now in God's hand through the very hard year, and I'm so thankful to have our little girl. If I seem even more weepy than most new mamas, now you know why. My heart is so very full of thankfulness for our sweet rainbow baby that I feared we would never have.
We love our sweet Gwendolyn Mae more than we can ever say!!!
We had our firstborn son, James Allen, in October of 2014. I had no trouble conceiving him, and the pregnancy went pretty well, so we were very excited to have another baby whenever the time came!
In May of 2015, I had a positive pregnancy test. This was it! I was so excited. But just a few days later, I started miscarrying. I was so sad, but I knew it was very common, and had tried to prepare myself for the possibility. I hadn't even told Micah yet, so no one else found out right then.
In August, I was in that possibly-pregnant-but-too-early-to-know window, when I started having extreme pain and cramping, to the point that my husband took me to the ER. They ran several tests, and found no HCG (pregnancy hormone) in the urine, but the blood test came back positive a few days later. Finding nothing right then, they sent me home with the hopes that I was just experiencing implantation cramping a little harder than most people. We got the blood test results saying I was pregnant, and I felt fine for a few days. I made a shirt that said "Big Brother" for James, and we took him over to my in-laws wearing it. We were so excited! About a week later though, I started miscarrying again. This time, since I had been in the hospital, we had told close friends and family, and when we told them about the miscarriage, we did say that it was my second. We were so heartbroken. Friends and family offered so much love and advice, some helpful and some not so much. But we appreciated everyone's love and caring and the intentions behind their words.
After having had two miscarriages, I was somewhat afraid to take another pregnancy test and get my hopes up, so I waited awhile, and finally took a test that confirmed my suspicions toward the end of October. We told a few very close friends and immediate family right away, so they could be praying. But a few weeks later, I miscarried again. I can't even tell you how shattered I was. I didn't understand! So many of my friends were having wonderfully healthy "accidental" pregnancies that they didn't even want or plan. I was so done with the emotional roller coaster, I just wanted a break. I didn't want to see babies or think about babies.
Thanksgiving rolled around, and I went upstairs to put the toddler down for a nap at my in-laws, and I woke up on the floor about an hour later. I had passed out! Then the next day, I was doing something—folding laundry maybe? My memory is fuzzy here—and passed out again! I just fainted dead away a few times a day for a couple days. I called my OBGYN, and they were worried that perhaps I was having complications from my last miscarriage, so they had me come in for blood work. Everything came back normal, with NO HCG. so when the passing out continued, they told me to go in to the ER to have things checked out. They did a CAT scan, MRI, X-rays, echocardiogram, electrocardiogram, electroencephalogram, tons of blood work, and everything came back normal. They sent me home Saturday night December 5th, with strict instructions, "not to drink any alcohol tomorrow even though it's your twenty-first birthday!"
Monday morning rolled around, and I had an odd feeling I should take a pregnancy test. Don't ask me why! But I did, and it was positive. What?!? I already had an appointment set with my OBGYN for that morning to discuss the miscarriages and options for testing to see what may be causing them. He was surprised to hear I'd had a positive test, but they did another test there, and it was positive! He ordered lots of blood work, and they took ten large vials of blood (could barely get that much!) hoping we would find something to clue us in on why I kept miscarrying.
He told me to rest, take a baby aspirin every day, and stay plenty hydrated.
Sure enough, four weeks later, we had an ultrasound that confirmed a living, moving baby. We were SO relieved, and yet so, so worried. I couldn't bring myself to get excited yet. What if we lost this one, too? I wasn't sure I could handle it.
We told everyone we knew that we were expecting, and close friends and family were praying HARD that this baby would make it.
I'm so happy to say, though it was a long and difficult pregnancy, she is now eight and a half days old, and couldn't possibly be any healthier.
Losing our three angel babies was definitely the very hardest thing I ever went through, but I'm able to see so much beauty now in God's hand through the very hard year, and I'm so thankful to have our little girl. If I seem even more weepy than most new mamas, now you know why. My heart is so very full of thankfulness for our sweet rainbow baby that I feared we would never have.
We love our sweet Gwendolyn Mae more than we can ever say!!!
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